Understanding relationships through bazi

Blame it on the stars!!

“Why did this happen?” “What did I do wrong?” are these the most common questions you ask yourself.

Relationships can go wrong in both spheres of life – work and personal. If you are reading this perhaps you are facing relationship issues or someone else could be facing issues. In bazi there are many reasons relationship problems occur it could be the imbalance of the five elements, certain configuration of stars and your nature. Over the years of my bazi practice, I have seen that the reason relationships suddenly go from happy to sour is because of change in luck phase that creates a not so suitable environment for the particular relationship.

So what are these mysterious configuration of stars, well there is harms, punishment, clash and destruction.

Understanding Harms

This configuration of stars is the reason you feel lonely, unhappy and betrayed by your loved ones. It is worse because people can’t see the emotional pain and anguish you are going through. You can’t describe your feelings. Since harms create emotional distress it can take a long time to heal.

My clients have wept silent tears and suffered emotionally unable to understand why the one they loved or were close to has suddenly turned against them. It was only after a bazi consult that they have understood the problem and moved ahead in life.

Understanding harms is important.  Harms happen all of a sudden and in the most unlikely situation. Usually harms occur because of your own neglect. There are two kinds of harms external and internal. Internal harms are worse as they tend to have a longer effect whereas external harms tend to last a lesser time.

A celebrity example of harms would be Tiger Woods, betraying his wife.

Bazi harms

Advice on how to handle harms

Avoid being focused on smaller issues look at the bigger picture. Express your feelings, talk to a therapist or your bazi consultant (lesser chance of being betrayed). Remember it is just a phase and if you listen to your bazi consultant and understand your situation, you will be able to avert further emotional pain and anguish. Heal yourself, avoid being negative not everyone is out to get you in the world.

Understanding Punishment

As the name suggests you get punished for your own words and actions. Most people might say it’s karma. There are several kind of punishments ungrateful punishment, bullying punishment, self punishment and uncivilized punishment.

Ungrateful punishment

Has it happened to you that you helped someone and you landed up in a big mess or you are tagged as the bad person? If yes, then, chances are high that during the incident, you were under the influence of ungrateful punishment.  Ungrateful punishment simply means people around you are ungrateful.

Like harms, ungrateful punishment can be both internal and external. An internal punishment means that you are over critical of others and super sensitive. You tend to feel betrayed easily and generally don’t trust anyone.  You have sour relationships and are the type to run away from any family event as it depresses you. In external ungrateful punishment you are the bad guy or you land up in trouble because you tried to help someone else. Example of this would be helping a colleague during troubled times and in return the colleague backbites about you to your boss.

Advice for ungrateful punishment

Understand the kind of punishment you are going through and accordingly take preventive measures. Lower your expectations from others, especially when you have done something for them. Stop sniveling about how you got cheated and start appreciating the supportive people around you. Start thanking others for whatever little they do, after all, what goes around comes around.

Bullying punishment

You promise something and then you have to uphold your promise that’s bullying punishment. The problem with bullying punishment is that, you are the one unwilling to keep the promise any more, hence you feel cornered and bullied.

Perfect example would be telling your wife you will buy her a diamond necklace but for some reason your financials don’t work out, your spouse hasn’t forgotten the promise and keeps reminding you. Finally, you give in and buy the necklace even though your financial situation is bad. This makes you feel cornered.  Now step back and look at the bigger picture. Who created the problem? You. Who made the promise? You.  Then why are you blaming the other party?

Bazi clash

There are two kinds of bullying punishment internal and external. The example given above is of external bullying punishment. Internal is slightly complicated. In internal bullying punishment you are the one torturing yourself. You could be overburdening yourself with work; you cannot muster up the courage to speak up; you are unable to say no; you get intimidated by others; you feel lonely and/or could suffer from inferiority complex.

Advice for bullying punishment

Stop making promises you cannot uphold. Think twice before you speak. Start expressing yourself without getting into a fight. Stay motivated by exercising, playing a sport. Meditate, it does help.

Uncivilized punishment

Parents need to keep a close eye on children with this punishment in their chart. In serious cases this sort of punishment leads to unhealthy sexual desires or being a victim of sexual harassment.  This is the kind of punishment you find in codependent and abusive relationships.

In less serious cases, it denotes a person who has a high sexual appetite and is emotionally unstable. You could be seeking emotional comfort in sex. Perfect example is when someone gets married for sex or is drawn into a codependent relationship. However, please do note that not everyone who has a high sexual drive has uncivilized punishment. Uncivilized punishment is when unhealthy relationships whether sexual or otherwise start ruling and ruining your life.

Advice for uncivilized punishment

Parents should keep a tab on their child’s activities. Have open conversations with your child, teach them how to protect themselves. Ladies with this configuration should avoid blind dates and drinking with strangers. If you are in a codependent relationship then get yourself a good counselor and get out of the relationship before it destroys you. If you are overtly sexually active (worse than Hank Moody (TV Series Californication)) sign up for sexaholics anonymous.

Self punishment

You create your own shit. Need I say more! You are aware that whatever you are doing is unwise but you somehow continue to do it. Perfect example would be having an affair with a married person. Chain smoking; alcoholism; drug addiction; overeating, all kinds of imbalanced intake of substances comes under this configuration. Even shopaholism; kleptomania etc comes under this configuration. Self punishment gives you the feeling of no self control.

Advice for self punishment

Take control of your life. You cannot let a few stars control your life. Put your goals ahead of self gratification. Identify the problem and solve it otherwise you will face a lot of heartaches.


Destruction makes you go against your nature. You are forced to do something you don’t want to. An example would be you don’t like smoking and drinking but your spouse likes it, you have to socialize and entertain friends and you also participate.

Sometimes destruction could also mean engaging in vices (smoking/drinking) that can create health and other issues. It could also mean having to do something that clash with your principles. Betrayal by friends or business partners is also a result of destruction.

Bazi destruction

Destruction means to destroy the old and make way for the new. You will face the problems but if you are willing to make the changes then you don’t have to face the problem again.

A celebrity example of destruction is Brad Pitt, his smoking, drinking etc lead Angelina Jolie to file for divorce.

Advice for handling destruction

Stop whining about what is happening instead try to focus on what can happen. Since destruction indicates fresh start, you can change the situation. Speak with your consultant find out the problem and come out of it. Make the changes, take the precautions and be happy.


Clash brings about confrontations, obstacles, hindrances, challenges, opposition, change and sometimes loss or removal of something or someone. It can also indicate surgery; divorce; accident; incompatibility in relationships with spouse; parents; in-laws; in severe cases it could indicate death.

Bazi clash

Clashes are drastic changes that can affect your health, relationship or work; however clashes don’t happen all of a sudden, you can see a clash coming, you are aware of the changes in the wind and if you take proactive steps you might just come out of it unscathed.

A clash in not always negative; if it clashes away your negative element then even if it creates discomfort the end result will be good for you.

A celebrity example would be the divorce between Tiger Woods and his spouse where he paid a huge alimony. The clash is loss of money; you guessed it, his wife and wealth star was clashed away along with a harms configuration in his spouse palace. If only someone would have advised him to say no to all those ladies.

Advice for handling clashes

First understand the clash you are facing then accordingly take precautions. If clash is in your spouse palace and you don’t want a divorce then love your spouse; whenever it gets overwhelming spend time away from each other. Understand what clash is occurring is it a third party; is it friends; your in-laws or your parents, it will help you to save your marriage.

Tips on handling any relationship issues

  • Be aware of the problem – if you know the people with whom you might have problems, the kind of problems you will have and when you might have the problems, then, you are already halfway to solving your issues. Talk to your bazi consultant.
  • Have patience and be strong willed– loads of it will be required to overcome any of the above mentioned situations.
  • Accept your problems. The person who plays the biggest role in your problems is you. Learn to accept your mistakes and life will be much easier.
  • Remember you have free will. The event will occur, you will be put in a situation where your natural (star based) instinct will take over however, the choice to act or not to act is yours. The choice is always “yours”.
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